The Heart of the Idiots
by Shrilanka-San
Summary: (ONE SHOT) On a bet, I completly re-tell how Yu-Gi-Oh began...and completly messed it up at the same time! This is how the first episode should have been. Bazookas, Ninjas, JAKSON AND PERKINS! This first episode fic is extremly crazy and not for the feint


Shri: LITTLE BROTHER! GET DOWN HERE NOW! THE FIRSTEST EVER EPISODE OF YU-GI-OH IS ON!

Brother: What is wrong with you? You've seen it how many times?

Shri: Uh…(Looks at list) one billion, six hundred eighty five thousand, two hundred ninety eight times. IN COUNTING!

Brother: Look, if you know seen it so many times, I bet you can recite the whole thing word by word!

Shri: Yeah? Well, I bet ten bucks I _can_, and make it a thousand times cooler too!

Brother: You're on! Hey, what are we talking about?

Shri: I bet that the way I tell the story is way cooler than how it really is!

Brother: Not that that's really hard.

Shri: (paddles him) Okay, now, it all started one day when the gang was at sc-

Brother: You're forgetting something.

Shri: Oh yeah, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, do I? Okay, school then…

**THE HEART OF THE CARDS**

_Or if you're Japanese_

**SENRITSU NO BLUE-EYES WHITE DRAGON**

Our story begins at seven o 'clock at the beautiful Domino High School. Here, hopeless fools like the ones who are about to be shown in this story get edumacated, so they can go into the real world as smart, mature, wise, and sensible adults. Of course, instead, they were screwing around and playing card games.

"I can't believe it," said Tristan, a pointy haired kid with no predominate fans. "Joey's trying to think again."

"Yeah," Tea, the only main female character with a square cut hairdo and blue eyes said. "I thought he gave that up! Instead he's trying to play duel monsters, which I kick his butt at."

"Oh boy!" Joey said, playing a weak and wussy card on the field, looking so adorably not smart with his blonde hair, brown eyes, and extremely weird New York accent. Ya know, I used to like New York accents.

"Wow Joey!" Yugi said, with his star shaped, tri-colored punk hairdo. "That move stunk more than you do!"

"Thanks Yugi!" Joey said, as Yugi played another wussy card, which was a little stronger than Joey's, so it destroyed Joey's monster, and Yugi won.

"Wow Joey, that was bad!" Tristan said.

"You're a loser!" Tea added.

"A complete and utter failure!" added the voice of poor little Ryo Bakura, who no one cares about in this episode (DARNIT!). Of course, this scene is cut from the US version.

"Don't try to cheer me up guys!" Joey said sadly. "I'm a loser!"

"Yes you are," Yugi said. "But that's okay! My grandpa owns a game shop, and he even as a **TOTALLY AWSOME** card that I'm sure he'd be glad to show us!"

"How will that cheer me up?" Joey asked.

"I dunno," Yugi said.

"THANKS YUGI!" Joey said, giving Yugi a hug.

Meanwhile, as the fools we call our heroes continue their bleak and meaningless lives, in a dark, tactfully abandoned corner of the room, a brown haired, blue eyed, pointy banged cutie named Seto Kaiba sat alone reading _Also Sparch Zarathustra_

_Wait a sec_ thought the good looking nihilist. _That kid has a _**KICK BUTT** _card? No way, thing can't get this exciting. Its only episode one for crying out loud!_

He looked at them for a moment.

_I can't take any chances,_ he said, waiting for them to leave.

"Joey, it's not really a good idea to just skip class so you can get cooler cards!" Tea said, the only smart one of the group.

"Nonsense!" Joey said. "Who cares about a stupid education? ME WANT COOL CARDS!"

"Can I come?" the British voice of Ryo asked.

"No, you can't come til latter!' Yugi said. "You're a worthless character until then! Kay, gbye now."

With that, Tea and her dimwitted friends trekked off, and Seto stalked them behind them.

"You're being followed by a nihilist!" called Ryo after the four, but none of them listened.

"Well, looks like another night of one man Monopoly!" Ryo said, picking up his bag and going to class.

**AT THE GAME SHOP**

"Oh GRANDPA!" Yugi called, opening the door and sending a great beam of light into the dark, dusty, moldy, and overall airless game shop. Cockroaches scattered into the shadows, and there stood Grandpa, fossilizing behind the counter, covered in spider webs. He hadn't had a customer for the past five decades.

"HEY GRANDPA!" Yugi screamed right in his face. "CANYA SHOW US THAT **WICKED **CARD YOU OWN?"

"It's in mint condition, totally priceless, highly flammable, and if stolen by a good-looking nihilist, it would cause him to go insane, lose his pupils, and tear it in half!" Grandpa said. "OKAY! SURE!"

With that, Grandpa pulled out a shiny card with a picture of a pretty dragon on it with blue eyes. Everyone behind the counter drooled.

"Cool! A lizard!" Tristan said.

"FOOL!" Grandpa screamed, pulling out a paddle and clobbering Tristan with it. "THIS IS NO ORDINARY LIZARD! THIS IS THE BLUE EYES WHITED DRAGON! IT'S A PRICELESS CARD, AND ONLY FOUR OF THEM EXIST ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET!"

"YAY!" Joey said. "I'll take a thousand and two!"

"Idiot," Tea said.

Suddenly, the door slammed off its hinges and fell to the floor, and the silhouette framed through the sunlight and dust in the room, and the cockroaches scattered again.

"Aw man!" Grandpa said. "That was my favorite door!"

"Oh, uh, sorry," Seto said, putting the door back in the frame. "Send me the bill."

"Hey, whatcha doin' here?" Tristan asked. "Don't you have that company to run called…uh…hmm…uh…"

"Kaiba Corp?" Seto asked.

"Yeah, that one!" Tristan said.

"Well, yeah, and school now that you mention it…" Seto said, "bu-ut, I'm here to get the **ROCK OUT LOUD **card."

"Oh boy!" Joey cried. "You play duel monsters too? That is so cool! Now, we can all be best friends, have pillow fights, be at each other's wedding, sing karaoke, and graffiti the hallways at school with luncheon meat!"

"No," Seto said flatly.

"No?" Joey asked.

"No," Seto replied.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Joey said, jumping into the air, ready to tackle Seto.

"JOEY STOP!" Yugi said, blocking Joey with his body, causing the two to collide and both to fall to the ground.

"That was pathetic," Seto said, watching the two squirm. "Okay, about that card…"

"Here it is," Grandpa said, holding it out.

"YAY!" Seto said happily, staring at it with big, happy, very un-Seto eyes and jumping up and down with very un-Seto like joy. "It's so pretty! And it matches my eyes too! Weeeeeeee!"

"Okay, now you're creeping me out," Grandpa said, slamming the case shut. "Now before I get the pepper spray, is there anything else I can do for you."

"I WILL GIVE YOU TWO MILLION DOLLARS AND A PONY FOR THAT CARD!" Seto said, pointing to the case.

"Sorry, not for sale," said Grandpa.

"ARE YOU MAD?" Yugi screamed. "WE'RE DIRT POOR! PLUS, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A PONY!"

"Okay, so you're crazy," Seto said, slamming a briefcase on the table, flipping it open "I'll give you all of these mint condition cards that haven't even been breathed on if you give me said card!"

"You carry that around wherever you go?" Tea asked.

"On Tuesdays, Thursdays, and the 21st of every month," Seto replied.

"Nope, sorry," Grandpa said.

"ARE YOU _STILL _MAD?" Yugi screamed. "WE'RE STILL TOTALLY POOR!"

"Look you old fool," Seto said. "I have offered you everything I can excluding my clothes and vital organs. "Why does that card mean more to you than millions of dollars?"

"Well, there's a very interesting story behind that," Grandpa lied.

And so, Grandpa began a very long and painfully boring story about how he met some old loser at the cat cabaret in Paris, Texas. Then, he began telling all the fun times they had together baking meatloaf, playing 'Dance Dance Revolution', and trying on flaming red lipstick in the department store.

"And that's why I still cry and laugh at the same time when I see freshly baked meatloaf," Grandpa said. "Oh, and, I can't give you that card because it has a heart of its own or something like that…"

"Oh, I see know," Seto said. "I guess that means I have to take it from you…BY FORCE!"

With that, he pulled out a huge bazooka gun, and with a little buzzing sound, he aimed it right at Grandpa's head.

"Hey!" Yugi said. "You can't have a gun! This is supposed to be turned into a kiddie show, even though it's orientation is toward teenagers!"

"Dang!" Seto said, throwing his gun out the window, clocking an innocent bystander outside. "Okay, well in that case, there's only one thing I can do…PLEASE GIVE ME THE PRETTY CARD! OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASY PLEASY PUL-LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE?"

Seto then collapsed on the floor on hands and knees, sobbing very pathetically and begging.

"Can I hurt him?" Tea asked.

"Tea, this is a kid's show!" Yugi asked.

"Come on! Just this once?" Tea begged.

"Well…okay," Yugi said.

With that, Tea gave him a spinning kick, sending him flying out the doorway into the street head first.

"No hard feeling though, right?" Yugi asked out the doorway.

"Oh no, none at all," Seto said, pulling his body out of a nearby tree trunk.

"Kay! Just checking!" Yugi said, pulling the door back into the frame. At that moment, using nothing but his will power, Seto set all of Canada on fire.

"This just in," said a conveniently placed TV in the middle of the dark game shop. "Canada is now on fire."

"Hey, didn't the narrator say that Kaiba the Rich-Boy Punk did that?" Joey asked.

"Since when do we have a TV?" asked Grandpa.

**LATTER AT KAIBA CORP**

"I can't believe that I couldn't get the stupid card from the old idiot," Seto said darkly to himself. "Oh, I', so mad, I could set all of Poland on fire using nothing but my will!"

"This just in," said a TV that magically appeared on Seto's desk. "Poland is now on fire."

"Okay!" Seto said. "That's it, I didn't want to do this, but it's time for…AN EVIL PLAN!"

This is the part when three volumes of the Manga are…skipped.

"Okay, first, I'll build a really cool theme park of death, and invite Yugi and his stupid idiot for a free trip their," Seto said. "Then, I'll kidnap his grandpa and force him to duel me, sending him to the brink of insanity. Then I'll make a ton of weirdo death traps they have to get through to duel me! I can fill it with hit men, falling blocks, and a chainsaw wielding psycho! It'll be cool!"

"Sorry, you can't," said a random freak for 4Kids who suddenly appeared floating cross legged over Seto's desk. "First of all, that isn't appropriate for a kid's show. Second, we already burned up a third of this show listening to Grandpa's story about Fluffy the feline pole dancer."

"DARN!" Seto said. "I can even hire the chainsaw wielding serial killer?"

"Nope," the 4Kids guy said.

"Can I at least kidnap him?" Seto asked.

"Well…sure, okay," said the 4Kids guy.

"YAY!" Seto said, pushing the intercom button. "Random goon! Go off the local game shop thing and pick up the old loser who works their. Oh, and while you're out, pick me up a new _Jackson and Perkins_ catalog, will you?"

**AT THE GAME SHOP THE NEXT MORNING**

Grandpa, lacking anything better to due, and being borderline OCD, was trying to complete the impossible task of sweeping out the filth in the dark, dusty, and utterly freakish game shop. Suddenly, the door was thrown off it's hinges, and three armed goons were standing in the dusty light.

"There goes my favorite door again," Grandpa said. "Oh well! Hello there youngsters! How may I help you today?"

"Sir, we're here to kidnap you," said a suit.

"We're having a sale on checkers!" Grandpa said uneasily, sweating.

"Sir, we're here to _kidnap_ you," said the suit again.

"How about a nice set of jacks?" Grandpa said, eye twitching severely.

"_We're here to kidnap you!"_ the suit said dangerously.

"GOOD LORD, DON'T YOU GET IT?" Grandpa screamed. "I HAVENT HAS A CUSTOMER SINCE 1935! THE ONLY WAY I CAN PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE IS TO MAKE A SOUP OUT OF THE FLYS THAT MISTAKE MY BODY FOR A ROTTING CORPSE!"

"Doesn't you're grandson notice that?" a suit asked.

"I tell him it's black pepper," said Grandpa.

"So…uh…about that kidnapping…" the suit said awkwardly.

"OKAY!" Grandpa said, twirling like a pretty ballerina and skipping along with the foolish goons out the door.

**LATTER, AFTER SCHOOL**

"GRANDPA!" Yugi said, walking through the empty doorway. "GRANDPA! WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Um, does anyone notice anything a bit weird?" Tristan asked.

"Weird…weird…weird…" Joey said. "OH WAIT! I'M WEARING PANTS!"

"Other than the door's missing and Grandpa is too?" Tea asked.

"Maybe he went potty!" Joey suggested.

"OR MAYBE HE GOT KIDNAPPED BY THAT EXTREMLY GOOD LOOKING NIHILIST WE MET YESTERDAY AND HE'S BEING FORCED TO DUEL ON SUCH AN EXTREME LEVEL THAT HE'S GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND ONLY I CAN SAVE HIM!" Yugi cried.

"Yugi, just what did that kid put in your ice cream?" Tea asked.

Suddenly, for dramatic effect, the phone rang.

"Cool! An angel got its wings!" Joey cried.

Yugi walked over the phone and picked it up.

"Hello," he said, "Yugi Motou residence, this is Yugi speaking because I picked up the phone and know I'm talking to you on the phone. May I ask who's calling and listening to me on the phone I just picked up and started talking into right now please?"

"Hello Yugi," said an evil yet sexy voice over the line.

"AAAAH! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?" Yugi cried in shock.

"You just told me it, and I go to the same school as you, you dunce."

"HOW DO YOU KNOW WHICH SCHOOL I GO TO?"

"It's Kaiba you idiot. Remember? From yesterday?"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW KAIBA WAS HERE YESTERDAY?"

"Because I am Kaiba."

"YOU'RE A STALKER!"

"DO YOU WANT THE OLD FART OR NOT?"

"Are those my only choices?"

"YES!"

"Okay, I'll take the old fart."

"Good. See you latter."

"Bye stalker!"

Click.

**MEANWHILE, AT THE RYO BAKURA RESIDENCE**

Ryo sighed, rolling the dice, and moving his piece four spaces across the Monopoly board. Then he did it again.

"This really would be fun if the others were here," Ryo sighed sadly.

"RYO BAKURA!" screamed an angry voice, and with that, three ninjas crashed through the ceiling. "SINCE WE ARE BORED, WE CHALENGE YOU TO MORTAL COMBAT!"

"Neat!" Ryo said. "Wanna play Monopoly?"

"Awesome!" said a ninja. "I want the dog!"

"No, I want the dog!" said another ninja.

So brewed a dramatic and totally cool fight scene! But, of course, since no one will care about Ryo episodes, let's return to our hero's meaningless lives.

**AT KAIBA CORPS**

"Thanks for the ride Mrs. Fartsydo!" Yugi said, jumping out of the backseat of her Van.

"What do you mean 'Thanks for the ride'?" Mrs. Fartsydo said. "You four jumped onto the bumper of the car, clawed your way to the hood of the car, and got into the backseat through the sun roof!"

"I love you too!" Yugi said.

"THAT WAS FUN!" Joey said.

"WHY DIDN'T WE JUST WALK?" Tea asked.

Anyway, Tea and her dimwitted friends walked into the building, to see Grandpa lying on the floor.

"I couldn't beat him Yugi…" Grandpa said. "He was too strong…and too sexy…"

"Well, well, well…" Seto said, standing in the door. "I see you came."

"Hey, what happened to you're pupils?" Joey asked. "They go bye bye!"

"Huh?" Seto said, pulling out a pocked hand mirror. "Oh, so they are. OH MY GOD! A ZIT!"

"You freak!" Tea said.

"Is it bath time already?" Joey asked.

"Take your pants off again, and I'll kill you!" Tea said.

"Who cares?" Seto said, holding up the dragon. "I HAVE THE PRETTY CARD! But since I have three that are exactly like it, I'll just tear it up."

"Why don't you just keep it?" Tristan asked.

"Nope, I only need three," Seto said.

"If you only need three, then why did you try to get the fourth one in the first place?" Tea asked.

"SILENCE!" Seto screamed. "Goodbye pretty card!"

"Bye bye!" the Blue Eyes said, but it was then torn in half.

"Aw man!" Grandpa said, handing his cards to Yugi. "Yugi, I need you too beat him up for me so you can teach him the heart of the cards…and also, so I don't need to keep my fifty dollar bet that I would win."

"You talk a lot for someone who had a heart attack," Tea said.

"Uh…CROAK!" Grandpa said, pretending to feint.

"Aw man!" Yugi said. "This guys gonna beat the snot out of me!"

"It's okay Yugi," Tea said, taking out a marker and drawing a little smiley face thing. "We're your palls, we'll always be here for you, and we wont care whether you get your butt kicked or not."

Unfortunately, suddenly, thanks to these few words of encouragement, Tea becomes a friendship freak, and despite all the 'We're best friends' speeches Joey gives, he ends up a main character. WHAT'S WITH THAT?

And so everyone rushes to the hospital, Joey stayed around to watch Yugi's butt get kicked, and that's all well and good. That is, until…

"YUGIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!"

With a magical background scream, Yugi grew a solid inch, his hair got bigger, and he suddenly had a skin tight, belted, dark colored all over body suit.

"Yay!" Not-Yugi said. "I'm now four foot four! And my clothes are cooler! Now I can go beat up Kaiba!"

With that, Not-Yugi skipped off to the dueling arena.

**A FEW SECONDS LATTER**

"Are you ready to die, ahem, lose Yugi?" pupiless-Seto asked.

"You bet!" Not-Yugi said.

"Let's get it on!" Seto said. "I summon the sissy Hitotsu-Me Giant!"

An ugly, wussy, life size monster suddenly appeared on the field.

"COOL!" Not-Yugi said. "I summon the equally sissy Winged Dragon thingit!"

With that, a pretty dragon appeared, and with a burst of bad breath, barbequed the stupid monster.

"Darn, I thought you were stupid," Seto said, as his life points dropped to 1800.

"Hey, wassup?" Mokuba asked, suddenly appearing on a balcony, and everyone cheered at his adorable cuteness.

"Alright," Seto said, "now I play another sissy card, Saggi the Dark Clown!"

"AAAAHHH!" Not-Yugi screamed. "Clowns are scarry!"

"Yes, they are," Seto said. "But now, I'll make him even scarier with my magical thingit, so his attack is now 1800!"

"AAAHH!" Not-Yugi cried. "Now it's REALLY scary!"

And so the scary clown blew up the sissy dragon, and Yugi's life points went down to 1600.

"Aw man, he _is_ too strong," Not-Yugi said. "Oh well, Grandpa has to have some kind off cool card thingies that can help me!"

So then, Yugi drew a super-sissy card with only 200 attack points.

_WHAT THE CRUD?_ Yugi thought. _This is the stupidest card I've ever seen! Oh well!_

"I put a wussy card in defense mode!" Not-Yugi said, putting a card face down.

"Whatever you boring fool," Seto said. "Scary clown, destroy his stupid monster!"

"Wow, you stink Yugi!" Joey said, as the clown destroyed the sissy card.

And so this kept going on as Not-Yugi put down sissy cards and Seto destroyed them.

"Haha!" Seto said. "I'm kicking the snot out of your loser butt!"

_He's right, my butt is a loser,_ Yugi said.

_Hey Not-Yugi_, said a voice in Yugi's head.

_Who said that?_ Yugi said. _Oh no, not Mr. Tipsytogles! I thought they got rid of you in therapy!_

_It's us, the useless cards_ said the useless cards. _Say you trust us!_

_No way! That's totally lame_!" Yugi said.

_Say it._

_No._

_Say it._

_No!_

_SAY IT _**BEEP** _you!_

_FINE! OKAY!_

"I trust my useless and pathetic cards!" Not-Yugi said.

_Thank you, here's a pretty card!_

"I summon Gia the Fierce Knight to kick your stupid butt!" Yugi said. "BYE BYE SCARRY CLOWN!"

And with it, Not-Yugi's pretty horse-knight think kicked the snot out of the scary clown's butt.

"I'M BORED!" Seto said. "I summon my pretty Blue Eyes White Dragon, which I named Tammy!"

"HI, I'M TAMMY! ROAR!" Tammy said, barbequing Not-Yugi's card and dropping his life points to 900.

"Hi Tammy!" Joey called from the balcony.

"I play two measly monsters in defense mode, which technically I can't do!" Yugi said.

"WHATEVER! BORING!" Seto said. "I play another pretty card I named Stephan!"

"HI I'M STEPHAN! RAAAAAR!" Stephen said as he and Tammy barbequed Not-Yugi's stupid monsters.

_Say it,_ the cards said.

"I trust my useless and pathetic cards!"

_Good boy._

"I summon Swords of Revealing Light!" Not-Yugi said.

"Aw man, we can't see!" Tammy said.

"Bummer!" said Stephen. "Uh, I mean RAAAAAWR!"

"YEAH! RAAAAAAAAWR!" Tammy said.

"Who cares?" Seto asked.

_Aw man_ Yugi thought. _All I have are these wussy arms and legs! How will that help?_

_Hey Yugi,_ a Grandpa hallucination said.

_Oh no, not Fat Man! _Yugi cried. _I thought I got rid of you too!_

_You idiot!_ The Grandpa hallucination said. _Remember when I told you I had those five stupid cards around so I could summon a totally ripped monster that can kick the snot out of anyone?_

_Oh yeah!_ Yugi said. _Thanks Fat Man!_

_Are you wearing clean underwear? _Grandpa-hallucination asked.

_No, _Yugi said.

_GOOD BOY!_ Grandpa said, skipping off.

"I play a loser monster in defense THAT'S NOT A PIECE OF EXODIA!" Yugi said.

"I summon Judge thingy!" said Seto. "Destroy his loser monster!"

"YAY!" Judgeman said, beating up the stupid monster.

"I SUMMON EXTREMLY GOOD LOOKING DARK MAGICIAN IN A DRESS!" Not-Yugi said. "Destroy him!"

"IT'S A ROBE!" said the Dark Magician, beating up Judgeman with his pointy stick.

"BORING AGAIN!" Seto said. "I summon Jessie, the other pretty card!"

"HI I'M JESSIE! RAAAAAWR!" Jessie said, barbequing Dark Magician.

"WAAAAH!" Dark Magician said.

"WAAAAH!" Not-Yugi said.

"WAAAAH!" everyone in the audience said.

"Okay, last draw," Seto said, the swords disappearing.

"YAAAAAY!" said Tammy, Stephen, and Jessie.

_Well, it looks like it's up to you cards. _Yugi said.

_No way man!" _said the cards. _You can't duel for smack! We're outta here!_

_Hey! Wait! Come back!_ Yugi said, as the cards walked away. Suddenly, three friendly hallucinations that looked like Tea and her dimwitted friends appeared and grabbed the cards.

_Toldja we'd be here for you!_ Tea-hallucination said. _Now draw while we're holding them down!'_

_Thanks friendly hallucination!_ Yugi said, drawing.

"I SUMMON THE TOTALLY RIPPED, FAR FROM GOOD LOOKING, EXODIA THE FORBIDEN ONE!" Not-Yugi said, and with that, huge monster appeared, and totally blasted the three dragons with a huge-ish, fireball thing.

"OUCHIES!" the dragons said.

"Oh, shmuck," Seto said, falling backwards.

"YAY!" Joey said.

"So much for the after party," Mokuba said, sighing in realization that he only has two lines in this episode.

Meanwhile, Tea contemplates why she hangs out with a bunch of people of which she provides large amounts of encouragement to with no recognition at all by 4Kids or the overall viewers as she sits in the hospital and the old fart wakes up.

Meanwhile, Ryo sits at home with the ninjas playing Monopoly and watching _Xena the Warrior Princess_ reruns and wondering why his friends never invite him to anything.

And everyone in the audience wonders why the much better, much better looking, and overall cooler duelist lost to a four foot four neo-punk in mock-goth clothing.

"Ha ha, I beat you!" Not-Yugi said. "Now, since you lost, and you clearly have issues, I will now destroy the freaky whatsit that's making you act like a loser! Freaky-dink piece begone! MIND CRUSH!"

So there's this cool little background thing, and Seto screams like a baby for a second, then spazes out. However, he gets his pupils back, making him much cuter.

"AW MAN! MY SEXY VOICE IS GONE!" he said. "Thanks a lot Yugi! Now I have to hate you!"

"You're welcome!" Not-Yugi said. "Oh, and, you're a main character now, see you in a couple episodes pal!"

"Wow Yugi!" Joey said, jumping down from the balcony. "That mind crush was so cool! I want to be mind crushed!"

"Uh, Joey-" Not-Yugi started.

"Come on! Crush my mind! CRUSH MY MIND!" Joey said. "You know you want to!"

"I'll crush your mind once you give me a mind to crush," Not-Yugi said. "Wow, that's one messed up loser. Shouldn't we ask that adorable little grade schooler up there what made him so angry and bitter at the world?"

"Nah, that's way too mature for my taste," Joey said. "HEY! Let's go home and have pie!"

"OKAY!" Not-Yugi said, as he and Joey held hands and skipped all the way home.

**MEANWHILE IN A RANDOM DARK ROOM!**

**"**Master Pegasus," said a random suit. "I have good news."

"You found _Xena: Warrior Princess_ season one at WalMart?" Pegasus asked.

"No sir, they were sold out," the suit said.

"DANGIT!" Pegasus said.

"But Seto Kaiba got the snot kicked out of him by a random punk named…Sally was it? Not sure…"

"OH BOY!" Pegasus said happily.

-ooo-

Shri: So, what do ya think?

Brother: Bad. Give me ten dollars.

Shri: What? Come on, that totally rocked! I WANT THE TEN DOLLARS!

Brother: YOU'RE GONNA HAFTA FIGHT ME FOR IT!

Shri: OKAY! (tackles him)

(Parents look in on fight)

Mom: They're watching Yu-Gi-Oh again?

Dad: Uh huh.


End file.
